Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is wine microwaveable?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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