Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Barsexuality is the new black.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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