we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
