U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
