Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
