TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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