dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
