Who wears a wallet chain?!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
my liver is dry heaving
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
