this boner is exhausting
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
