Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
