if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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