you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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