What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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