i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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