You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
