they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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