her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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