i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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