Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
