She said her name was "party"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
