Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
