just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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