Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
