remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
