Your tits are I can't wait for
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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