your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
