Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I didn't notice because vodka
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize