my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
