Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize