Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you win again, gameday.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
