would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize