I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
