We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize