he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize