you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
