so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
