and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
