my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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