if you like me you must not know who I am
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
