having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
