what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
