if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
