Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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