I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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