Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize