party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
These tits shall not be calmed
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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