Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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