Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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