Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
