We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
this will be a night to untag.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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