He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
