i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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