last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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