Me too!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
