Dual....:-)
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
