a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
