Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
