I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
