In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
