Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
