i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
