even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
