Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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