This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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