none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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