please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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