we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
