dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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