Sponge bath it is.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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