You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
