Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
