She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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