haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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