I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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