You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
